


Mac Is Too Fucking Loud

by hyphenation



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Praise Kink, The Gang Does a Clip Show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 05:09:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16340390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyphenation/pseuds/hyphenation
Summary: Dennis has to listen to Mac using the Ass Pounder 4000 every day for what seems like hours. It’s torture.OrAfter being disappointed by “The Gang Does a Clip Show”, I decided to forget all about it and instead hone in on Dennis’ line about how Mac spends three hours a day on the “dildo bike”. How would he know? This is how.





	Mac Is Too Fucking Loud

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set between season 12 and 13, before Dennis soundproofed his room. In my version of the timeline, Dennis never left to North Dakota (at least not for long), as no one in the gang seems to remember that.
> 
> My second fic! Haven’t been this productive in a long time, lol.

Dennis had always thought Mac’s most annoying traits were how delusional he was about how tough he was, and how straight he was. After the arbitration process, however, his newfound acceptance of himself as an actual homosexual, had led to far worse aspects of his personality to flourish. The constant sprinkles of “as a gay man” into almost every conversation weren’t the worst of it. Far from. The touching, the attempted kissing - Dennis could handle those. He could handle the fact that Mac got more ass now than he himself was having at 25. But having to listen to him going at it on that god-damned bike _every fucking day_ , was worse than anything else. It was worse than having to listen to a 3-hour track consisting only of Charlie’s high-pitched screams, Dee’s whiney shrieks and Frank’s _sounds_ , all at once.

It was torture. And it had been going on for months. Maybe it wasn’t _every_ day, but it sure felt like it. In the beginning, Dennis could only hear it through the walls if he was in the living room or in the kitchen. But then it was as if Mac steadily became more comfortable with the fact that he was actually _fucking himself_ on the Ass Pounder 4000, and not working out. The sounds stemming from his room grew louder and louder with every week, until Dennis had to turn up the volume on the TV, and then eventually retreat into his own room to drown out the sounds. That way, he could pretend to ignore it.

This night, he couldn’t.

It was late. An hour prior they’d been watching a random talk show on TV, drinking a couple of beers. Mac had insisted on doing “quadra-lift thrusters” every 5 minutes, as he’d just started working out again (as if that was going anywhere), and wanted Dennis to join in. To that, he had of course refused – he just wanted to have a relaxing evening on the couch. Mac couldn’t even give him that. Besides, the exercise looked ridiculous. After every set, Mac would sit down right next to him and place his hand on his knee for a second. It was extremely annoying, but Dennis didn’t say anything. He rarely did, at most he’d roll his eyes. When the program had ended, Mac immediately went into the bathroom and showered, before he said goodnight and headed into his own room. Not many minutes passed before Dennis recognized the distinctive sound of pedalling and metal squeaking, followed by moans of pleasure. He turned the volume up, but he could still hear him. He could still hear the _aaahhhh_ ’s, the _oh god_ ’s and the other ungodly sounds Mac made. It was almost as if his mind was making a conscious effort to _try_ to hear him, paying more attention to the possible sounds that could be penetrating the constant buzz from the TV, than the TV itself.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to go to bed.

Once safe in his room, everything would be fine. He wouldn’t have to listen to the disgusting actions of that sexual deviant any longer. Rage had been building up inside him for the last 10 minutes, and it was about to spill. How could Mac be so inconsiderate and _force_ him to listen to him? They had been living together for 15-20 years, and surely Dennis had never been this loud _ever_ during that time, nonetheless for hours every day. No, he was an excellent flatmate.

He was laying in his bed, relieved to be in the comforts of his entirely own space. The silence was amazing. Going to sleep sounded like a good idea, and he got undressed and tucked himself under the covers. In theory, falling asleep should be easy - he was just barely tipsy, and it was late. Theory wasn't reality, though, and after another 10 minutes of tossing and turning, suddenly Dennis could hear Mac again.

_“Oh my god…”_

Those were the only words he could make out, the rest was just a series of grunts, whines and moans. How could he possibly be this loud? Was that bike really that fucking good? Jesus Christ, he must be doing it on purpose. Maybe this was Mac’s new strategy to win Dennis over – make him horny by forcing him to listen to him masturbating. What an absurd thought – the only thing Mac had made him was furious.

Dennis started pacing the room, desperate to get an outlet for his anger. What should he do? Break into Mac’s room in the middle of it all and yell at him so violently that he’d never dare to do this again? No, that would mean he’d not only be exposed to the audible aspect of his self-fucking, but also the visual one. He’d see it all – Mac’s naked body, the dildo going in and out of him, his hard c-

Dennis couldn’t finish the thought. Wouldn’t. He threw himself on his bed, covering his ears with his hands. This was _not_ how this was supposed to go. He tried ignoring the image forming behind his closed eyes, but he couldn’t. _Mac’s hard cock._ _His naked body on that bike. His head thrown back, sweat dripping down his-_

“No!” Dennis verbalized, breaking away from what his mind had exposed him to. He repositioned himself to go underneath the covers again, this time committed to actually falling asleep. But he could still hear him. How was he not finished yet?

Dennis refused to close his eyes, from fear that the image would reappear. A faint tingle in his lower belly emerged, and the temperature of his skin had increased. Closing his eyes now would be the worst idea ever. But it was to no avail, the image returned to him nonetheless. He couldn’t ignore how hard he’d gotten anymore. Instead, once he crossed the line and started touching himself, he ignored the fact that this wasn’t supposed to turn him on. Ignored keeping his eyes open. Ignored telling himself no. He had found a steady pace, and his hand and cock were slick with lube by now. Every muffled sound took him further, and his awareness of how _wrong_ this was, somehow made things even better.

Dennis wanted to open his door and allow the sounds stemming from Mac’s room to engulf his own. Before he knew it, his bed was behind him, and the doorknob was in his left hand. He turned it. Once in the living room, he could make out more distinctive sounds. But it wasn’t enough. The image in his head wasn’t enough. The distance between his own room and Mac’s door was somehow gone, and suddenly he was standing inside Mac’s room. Mac was visibly startled, but still kept on pedalling through his initial confusion, and Dennis’ hand found its way back to where it needed to be again. They held eye contact, 6 feet away from each other.

“Jesus Christ, Den. Wow.”  
  
Just what he needed to hear. He started stroking himself slowly, almost as if to put on a show for Mac. Mac on the other hand, increased the speed of his pedalling, but turned down his volume. He was all whimpers and ragged breaths now.

“I’m not gonna last much longer, Dennis.” It was true. From Dennis’ view, he looked to be _very_ hard, pre-come dripping off of him. He took a proper look at him – his confused smile, how his muscles moved and tensed. It was better than the image his mind had presented him earlier. He was even sweatier, even bigger. The way he moved on the bike and how it affected him, looked exquisite. For a moment, a small part of Dennis imagined that his dick was the one fucking Mac. That his was the one that made him look so euphoric. He worked his hand up to a good speed and placed his free one on his nipple, gently rubbing at it. Mac moaned a bit louder, and their eyes met again. He hadn’t even touched his cock since Dennis had entered the room, so when he suddenly came with nothing but the dildo stimulating him, Dennis was caught off guard.

“ _Oh, Dennis_ ,” Mac muttered, followed by low breathy sounds and several lengthy bursts of come. He slowly came to a stop on the bike, and just relaxed on it while awaiting Dennis’ climax. The sight was truly intoxicating, and it didn’t take long until Dennis’ breath became ragged, too. Mac grinned, knowing he was close.

“God, you look amazing like this. Perfection.” It was like music to Dennis' ears, and he knew Mac knew it was. “You’re doing so _good_ ; you're gonna look even better when you come.” In that moment, he did. His eyes closed and his lips turned upwards into a careless smile. The release made him feel momentarily weightless, and it _was_ good. For a prolonged moment, he just stood there, eyes closed, breathing heavily.

“Damn. That just happened. How did you know I was on the Ass Pounder?”

Dennis was brought back to reality. He opened his eyes to the sight of Mac standing alongside the bed with a towel in his hands, seemingly just done wiping himself off. He was still semi-hard. “Shit, I don’t really care. That was great, man,” he continued when Dennis didn’t respond.

Instead, Dennis turned around and walked straight out the door.

“What the hell? Not even gonna say anything?” he heard him call out from behind.

No, Dennis wasn’t. They were never going to talk about it. Ever. He closed his own bedroom door behind him, and grabbed a couple of tissues before he laid down on the bed. 

“Coward!” Dennis heard from far away. “You’re a fucking coward, you… you coward!”  
  
After that, all he could hear was silence. Finally, he told himself, he was gonna get some quality sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This was ridiculous to write, but fun. Obviously, Mac wasn’t using the bike for 3 hours daily, it only felt like that to Dennis. And that’s why he calls him a sexual deviant – it’s not his gayness, but his less-than conventional way of masturbating, and Dennis’ perception of how long it takes.
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment or kudos, that'd make my day.


End file.
